#1-The Buck Stops Here

The Buck Stops Here.

What this means is that you are not your past. If you experienced an unhappy childhood, you do not need to be defined by it now. As an adult, you must make the conscious choice to put your past where it belongs—in the past. Unless you want to repeat the mistakes that your parents made on you, you must break the cycle and say to your own children, “The buck stops here. It stops with me”.

You can say to yourself, “No matter what happened to me, I survived, I am still here, and it is over now.” Choose to be a better parent to your kids than what was given to you. Be the parent you wish you had.(If you were lucky enough to have great parents who gave you something good to model, then count your blessings.) But even good parents make mistakes. None of us are perfect and we can always try to do better with our own kids.

If you were abused emotionally, physically, or sexually, you can not allow that abuse to continue into the next generation. If you experienced abandonment, neglect or indifference, you don’t want to repeat those hurtful behaviors on your own children. If you suffered with a parent who raged, who had problems with alcohol or drugs, you shouldn’t pass that suffering on to the next generation.

It is easy to think that because you were wronged, it excuses your own bad behavior or seeming inability to stop the cycle. But there is no excuse for doing to your kids what was done to you. You must stop the patterns and be a better parent than that. Of course this is easier said than done. There are many degrees and types of unhappy childhood with repercussions ranging from dysfunctional to debilitating, and you must determine and seek the level of help you need to heal and move on. Do whatever it takes.

In fact, you’ve already started, because you are here, reading this, and because you care enough to put your past behind you and to step up and commit to doing the right thing for your own kids. Good for you!

Remember, as Ring Lardner said,

"The family you came from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have."

Read the other 5 remaining Principles below:

1.)The Buck Stops Here

2.)You Had ‘Em, You Raise ‘Em

3.)You’re a Parent, Not a Friend

4.)Practice What You Preach

5.)When a Routine Life Isn’t Boring

6.)Don’t Deprive Your Child of Discipline

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