The sixth principle is Discipline. "Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble." -Dennis Fakes
When you deprive a child of discipline, you are denying him one of the single most effective means of learning how to get along in the world. Multitudes of parents fall short in this area and need to be reminded, in no uncertain terms, who is in charge of the family. Hint: it’s not the kid! There is, today, a pronounced breakdown of authority in the family structure. Many kids rule their household’s roost as timid parents look on helplessly. I’m not sure when the prevailing attitude of giving in to your kid’s every whim became what seems to be the norm, but that practice is wreaking havoc on untold numbers of families. When you acquiesce to a child’s every demand, you render him powerless to differentiate between needs and wants, you strip him of his independent ability to think and to provide for himself (if and when he ever leaves the nest) and are really creating a monster of epic proportions. Discipline for a kid is as essential as water. Don’t deprive him of it. To be effective, discipline must be three things: Fair, Firm and Consistent. Fair means consequences for actions should be appropriate. For instance, “You forgot to take out the trash, so you are grounded for a year”, isn’t fair. Raging, screaming, hitting and irrational behavior when punishing a child isn’t fair. Fairness means that there are clear and logical consequences for a childs failure to behave appropriately and that these consequences are known and understood beforehand. When a child breaks the rules, she knows exactly what will happen to her as a result. For instance, if it was clearly communicated to the child that she would lose after school television privileges if she did not finish her homework first, and she chose not to finish her homework, then it is perfectly fair and reasonable to follow through with the consequences of that action and prohibit the television viewing. Firm means follow through. Discipline means nothing if it is not carried out! The parent must set the consequence for a particular behavior and then mean it. If you threaten to punish and then don’t follow through, all you are doing is confusing your child and telling him that your word means nothing. Children don’t respect weakness in a parent. This is an ancient instinct from our primitive days when being weak meant not surviving. You must project an air of authority even if that is difficult for you, as your kids will not respect you if you don’t. Consistent means all the time, no matter what! I can not stress enough how important this last one is, and it is also the hardest of the three! If you punish your kid for an infraction of the rules only randomly or at your whim and neglect to punish for the same infraction at other times, you are sending very mixed messages to your kid. What happens is that your child learns that your word is dictated only by your mood, level of tiredness or frustration on any given day. What you say is not something to be trusted and counted on, it is something to be manipulated. What this waffling tells your child is that if they just wait for the right moment, when you are distracted or exhausted or overwhelmed, that they will be able to wear you down until you give in and give up. This is not the precedent you wish to set. Good discipline is essential and kids need it and want it. They feel safer and happier when their households are predictable and when Mom and Dad are people they can trust to do what they say they will do. Do not skip this step, as many parents do these days. Start now, right from the beginning, and get this step right. You, your child, and everyone who will ever know your child will never regret it!
3.)You’re a Parent, Not a Friend
5.)When a Routine Life Isn’t Boring 6.)Don’t Deprive Your Child of Discipline
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